7 Years- The Anniversary of Copper with a Wish of a New Heart

  Tomorrow, we will be married for 7 years.  Traditional anniversary gifts call for gifts made of Copper or Wool and the Modern gift is a gift of a Desk Set.  But both the traditional and modern gifts seem so far out of reach, when our biggest hope is for a heart.  Also, since we are talking about anniversaries and dates, tomorrow will be 52 days on the Transplant List for Khadees.

    If you asked me 7 years ago, what I thought we would do for our 7-year anniversary, I promise you, this never would have crossed my mind.  I would have been far more likely to guess a trip to Paris or a cruise to a sought-after destination.  We did have a cruise booked for this weekend, which was canceled soon after Khadees’s diagnosis in June. However, we did celebrate together on Friday, a quick dinner together as Stella was at gymnastics and my mom watched Allie and Kellan.   

When Khadees and I were dating, we had “Our List.” On the list, we listed all of the adventures and things we wanted to do together in life.  This list grew very quickly (pages and pages), and so many things have been crossed off since we were dating 12 years ago.  The list included things like, eat at Citricos at Disney’s Grand Floridian, go on a transatlantic cruise, go to Australia, France, New Zealand (and at least 25 other countries). As we continued to date, our list grew with things like, get married, have a baby, and have another baby.  Every now and again, we pull the list out and check our progress.  This year, we will add, “Get a Heart Transplant.”  

A quick Google search will tell you the average person waiting on the transplant list for a heart is 4 months.  Of course, this includes all statuses and still provides little hope, as we have talked to people who have been on the list for a few days and others who have been on the list for over a year.  I’ve previously compared the wait on the Transplant List to the game Chutes and Ladders, and I still stand by that analogy.  I jokingly told Khadees the other day, I don’t remember the last time I wished for something so bad.  You know as a child, when you feel like if you think about something hard enough, you can will it to happen?  (Did anyone watch Matilda?!)  But we continue to pray, and know that when it is time for him to receive his gift, we will be ready.  Bags are packed, arrangements made, and all but a few last minute details are taken care of.  

There are moments that all of this is so overwhelming.  So many what-if’s and constant changes.  One thing that we have been incredibly thankful for is the amazing support we have received from all of our friends and family.  From the text messages, phone calls, gifts for the kids to keep them busy, donations, meals, a friend that steals you away for a quick drink among the chaos of chauffeuring kids to sports, friends that show up to help you clean (L, you really are a complete rockstar!) and so much more, we are just so very thankful for the amazing people we have in our life.  For me personally, the moments when I find myself feeling broken, or crying in the shower, or pleading with God, I try my best to remember that God wouldn’t give us more than we can handle, but even more, he gave us the beyond-amazing village who are standing by our side throughout it all. For that, I am incredibly grateful.