2HeartsAreBetterThan1

  Here’s a little backstory: Khadees has needed a PICC, which is a peripherally inserted central line (basically a line that goes to his heart) for the continuous infusion of Milrinione that he needs.  For the last 6ish weeks, we’ve been trying to figure out what he is allergic to.  For a central line, the dressing needs to be changed once a week, usually using chlorhexidine (CHG) to scrub the line.  Once the CHG dries, a biodisc with CGH is placed directly over the line insertion site and then a tegaderm is placed over to keep everything in place.  Not knowing whether he was allergic to the CHG or the tegaderm, they started using a hypoallergenic tegaderm and betadine to scrub instead of CHG.   2 weeks after the first PICC was placed, he had severe allergic reactions, causing boils and blisters beneath the dressing.  However, up until Monday, the biodisk was still used.  This Monday, the redness and irritation was specifically under the biod...

  It is a running joke with Khadees’s healthcare team that he is the man who doesn’t match the chart.  There is no way for us to know how long Khadees has been compensating and pushing through all of the symptoms of heart failure.  The man I love is incredibly strong and stubborn, and consistently pushes through his pain and exhaustion.  However, this week he has declined, noticing more symptoms and slowly starting to match the man described in his chart; the man who has an ejection fraction of 13%, Stage IV Nonischemic Congestive Heart Failure, on a continuous IV infusion of Milrinone to support his heart function, and waiting for a heart transplant. Most days, he spends the majority of the day on the couch.  He was becoming restless and bored of television, books, and video games, but now he doesn’t complain as much.  Weeks prior, he would push to try to help with small things around the house, but now his energy is so low, he is more content hanging ...

  Tomorrow, we will be married for 7 years.  Traditional anniversary gifts call for gifts made of Copper or Wool and the Modern gift is a gift of a Desk Set.  But both the traditional and modern gifts seem so far out of reach, when our biggest hope is for a heart.  Also, since we are talking about anniversaries and dates, tomorrow will be 52 days on the Transplant List for Khadees.      If you asked me 7 years ago, what I thought we would do for our 7-year anniversary, I promise you, this never would have crossed my mind.  I would have been far more likely to guess a trip to Paris or a cruise to a sought-after destination.  We did have a cruise booked for this weekend, which was canceled soon after Khadees’s diagnosis in June. However, we did celebrate together on Friday, a quick dinner together as Stella was at gymnastics and my mom watched Allie and Kellan.    When Khadees and I were dating, we had “Our List.” On the list...

  There are stories you picture telling others about, how you met your significant other, your bachelor/bachelorette party (or maybe not!), the days your kids were born, or your first day in your profession.  Lately, I have found that I spend lots of time telling the story of June 2022 and Khadees’s diagnosis.   Looking back, there were warning signs, but hindsight is always 20/20.  Khadees never tolerated caffeine well, it made his heart feel like it was beating out of his chest, so he never drank it (and still had an unlimited amount of energy prior to this summer!)  He was becoming tired more quickly.  He was having palpitations and chest pain at work.  He was getting dizzy and lightheaded with activity.  Most of this was quickly dismissed and attributed to stress, heart burn, being out of shape, not sleeping well, and so on. The first week of June, our family went on a quick 5 day cruise.  On the cruise, we had purchased the Ultimate...